News anchors have immense difficulty ending conversations with guests. There’s always a mess of extended pauses and interruptions at the conclusion of a discussion, making it all very awkward for all parties involved, including the viewers. There has to be a fix for this seemingly simple problem. Maybe a simple protocol for all anchors to follow? Like, the anchor ends the conversation and that’s all there is to it. No response needed or expected from the guest. That’d be a quick and easy way of doing it.

I’m 24 and have yet to figure out how to deal with teasing and smartasses.

With respect to the teasing, in the form of an annoying nickname, I am apparently supposed to not acknowledge it or show that it bothers me, and that will make it go away. But what’s unsettling is that I’m a stoic person to begin with. So I’m certain I haven’t shown any emotion to fuel the repeated nickname-calling…

And with regards to conversations with smartasses, I’m guessing I need to just immerse myself into that kind of tediuos dialogue enough times so that I can learn from experience.

This iPhone is going to be the end of me…

Over the past few weeks, I have come to realize that I have complete sympathy for every human being.

When I see someone, I see them as an innocent newborn who has been burdened (or blessed) with their genetic dispositions and their social and environmental experiences.

I can’t describe how much at peace I am with this.

Back in May, I declared that I would thereafter use a particular model to title my posts, namely the placement of “A Post About” before the topic to be discussed.

However, after applying the technique a number of times, I must say that it’s becoming an increasingly superfluous eyesore. I mean, writing down the topic by itself would suit just fine.

In a way, the “A Post About” was like a set of training wheels to help me learn how to title my posts.

Well, I can say with confidence that I’ve trained enough and I’m ready to move on.

Yesterday, I found myself watching part of Miss Korea 2006. (No, I don’t understand Korean and, no, I don’t partake in this activity regularly.) Nevertheless, I was listening to the speeches when one of the contestants said:

If there’s a will, there’s a way.

However, because she couldn’t speak English very well, her “a will” sounded like “oil”. That’s how I heard it at first, and I immediately thought of the Bush administration.

It’s funny because the “oil” version of the proverb could pass off as their mantra.

[(sarcastically) Wow! You're hilarious!]

Dude, why do you always give me a hard time? I wasn’t trying to be laugh-out-loud funny. I just wanted to point out some irony and…nevermind. Forget I said anything.

[Ha ha! Loser!]

You’re calling me a loser? Look at you. You have nothing better to do than hang around here. I’d keep my mouth shut if I were you.

[...]

(FYI: this is a half-assed post, because I don’t feel like trying. So, calm down, settle down, take it easy.)

20/20’s special “Last Days On Earth” substantiated my intent to be at the precise impact point of any apocalyptic asteroid headed towards Earth.

It’s all about “quick and painless”, my friend.

There’s nothing wrong with being kind…

…unless you’re a punching bag.

Sister: (takes her glasses off)

ALI: You look different without your glasses.

Sister: Yeah. I know.

ALI: (takes his glasses off)

Sister: I can’t see without my glasses.

————————————————–

Get it?!

[That wasn't funny.]

What makes the exchange humorous is very subtle. I guess you had to be there.

I mentioned earlier that I have trouble choosing titles for my posts.

Well, I think I’ve come up with a solution.

I’m going to henceforth title my posts in accordance with the following model:
“A Post About (blah)”.

It’s similar in concept to the format used by the “Friends” sitcom to title their episodes.

Anyway, I feel my titles will get the job done. They’ll orient the posts. They’ll also prepare the reader for the onslaught of my brain-numbing, neuron-destroying blurbs.